New game New rules

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't So if the chain is on your door, I understand.




Ok so here are some updates on my life. Number 1 I am still a fat ass... weight has not budged. I don't really understand that but I will come back to this in a little. Number 2 I went on a little vacation this weekend. I went back to school for homecoming, and while I was there one of my friends decided it was a good idea to try to set me up with her nephew. I met him on Wednesday night and he was really cute and seemed really nice. To make a long story short he apparently really liked me to and we have been talking everyday since. He really wants to hang out but the thing is he  lives like 3 hours away. It just feels weird to have someone actually want to spend time with me. I find myself putting up the wall and I think it is because I can't accept it for what it is. I don't know why I feel like this. Is this normal?? I have no idea and it is causing me a lot of stress. Another issue that I am having with this is the fact that he is real thin... and I obviously am not... so today I started a new diet. I really need to get in control and so far today I have done really well. I created a new set of rules that I need to follow each day.

Rule #1: Breakfast and Lunch must total under 300 calories

Rule #2: Must drink 1 full water bottle with each meal.

Rule #3: Only drink water or coffee. I will allow myself 1 redbull a week cause I can't live without!

Rule #4: Water intake has to be at least 4 bottles of water.
Rule #5: Must go to the gym 6 days a week for at least an hour.
Rule #6: If eating dinner must be eaten before going to the gym.

Rule #7: If eating dinner must eat the minimum allowed without drawing attention from mom.

Rule #8: No eating past 7:30pm

Rule #9: Must weigh in twice a day = once in the morning and once at night before bed

Rule #10: If I go into the kitchen to snack must drink a full bottle of water and immediately leave.

These are rules that I am going to stick to. I ABSOLUTELY need to slim down. I wont allow myself to stay at this size anymore...it is sickening. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. This needs to stop now!