10/17/10

Rule #1: Breakfast and Lunch must total under 300 calories

Rule #2: Must drink 1 full water bottle with each meal.

Rule #3: Only drink water or coffee. I will allow myself 1 redbull a week cause I can't live without!

Rule #4: Water intake has to be at least 4 bottles of water.
Rule #5: Must go to the gym 6 days a week for at least an hour.
Rule #6: If eating dinner must be eaten before going to the gym.

Rule #7: If eating dinner must eat the minimum allowed without drawing attention from mom.

Rule #8: No eating past 7:30pm

Rule #9: Must weigh in twice a day = once in the morning and once at night before bed

Rule #10: If I go into the kitchen to snack must drink a full bottle of water and immediately leave.

Alright so those are the rules and today I have pretty much broke all of them today. So pissed off at myself today it is unbelievable. Tomorrow I need to get strict again.. However I realized that I haven't decided on a punishment for when I break my rules. I think if I blatantly break a rule it will result in fasting for the rest of the day and the following day. If i only break the rule a little bit it will result in fasting for the rest of the day. If i break more than 1 rule no matter how big the break was I will have to fast for the rest of the day. the following day, and I have to add an extra hour to my gym time the following day. 

 Ugg so my mom made dinner tonight for the first time in forever and we all had to eat it. It was some steak thing and now I feel sick. First off I don't eat red meat.. i just don't. I will eat chicken but not red meat. It thoroughly disgusts me. Now i was forced to eat it and will probably be sick tonight because of it. Secondly I didn't want to eat dinner tonight. I just wasn't feeling it. I feel like such a big tub of lard already and when I continue to put more food into my mouth I just feel myself expanding. I feel the need to purge but I haven't done that in so long and I really don't want to. I don't have any laxatives right now either so I am really pissed. Plus my mom baked a pie and is expecting us all to have a piece. NO NO NO NO NO NO. I DONT WANT ANY MORE FOOD!!!! WHY CAN'T SHE UNDERSTAND THAT?????