Life sucks

I've been pretty down this week. Dont know why.. could be the fact that I look like a beached whale... I realyl wish I could see what people saw when they looked at me because I know that when I look at myself I just see ripples and ripples of fat. I was at the gym on Thursday and I had shorts on. Now typically I wear either pants, capris, or basketball shorts so that the least amount of flesh is shown, but I decided to break out the normal length shorts. Well that was a HORRIBLE decision. I was doing the eliptical and felt fine... looking at my flappy arms flap back and forth but I was dealing with it, but then I got off of the eliptical and looked in the mirror. All I could see was my dimply fat huge thighs. I almost vomitted. I had to leave, I couldnt continue to look at myself looking like that. EWWWW I really thought that my legs were going to look better than that, but boy was I wrong. Guess I got to keep them covered up for a little more longer now.... Welp I'm off for the gym its Body Bootcamp today and then I have to work  for a couple of hours....

My meal plan for the day is
Granola bar for breakfast
Apple for lunch

I"m back

Alright so I haven't posted in a little while but this morning I woke up and decided that I needed to do something. My life is currently spiraling out of control and I need to reel it back in. Posting on here allows me to get all of my emotions out and not keep them bottled. When I get real stressed and worked up I end up binging or freaking out. I just need a place to let it out and here is a perfect place to do that. So there is more to come....Please don't mind my botching and complaining :)