Countdown to Turkey day

Hey there. Sorry I haven't had the chance to update. I have been crazy busy with work. It seems that everything is begining to pick up again which is great, well with the exception that they want me to get trained in a different department, the slower department, while my department is swamped with requests. It is hilarious the "tug of war" I am invovled in. I just sit back and go where ever I am needed. 

Weightwise, I am still stuck at 194, but my mom says that she can really see the weightloss. Personally I still think I look like a fat cow which sucks because I wish that I could see what she sees. I have been doing a lot of weight training recently, so I might have lost some more weight but I might have gained some muscle. I guess that is ok because muscle burns more calories than fat even when you are just sitting there. I went to boxing last night before my Body Blast class and had a ton of fun. It was a great workout and it was really fun too!! I got to put boxing gloves on and punch people. It was a good stress reliever and I will definetly be going again!!

My current thinspo person is Emma Watson from Harry Potter. I saw the movie twice last weekend and I am so jealous of how skinny and tiny she is. So here are a couple of pictures of her for motivation!

FAIL!!!

So this weekend has been one of the biggest let downs thus far. I just ate and ate and ate. I kept telling myself to stop but then I kept finding myself in the kitchen. I don't even want to get on the scale tomorrow morning cause I know that it is just going to piss me off. I am so frustrated with myself. I always hit a goal and then back track. I need to keep going down, I don't have time for this up and down game!! And now I am getting all stressed out about this weight crap, among other things, that my face is breaking out. AHHHHH

Here is the plan for tomorrow. Breakfast will be a large cup of coffee. Lunch will be a bottle of water and possibly a Fiber 1 bar, depends on what the scale reads. I know what my mom is cooking for dinner, so i will have a little of that, try to keep it around 500 calories, and then I will go to the gym and burn that and then some off. I think I am going to try the boxing class before my body blast class. It looks real intense but also like a lot of fun. Wish me luck! I really need to stick to this plan!!

Of course it's hard. If it was easy then everybody would do it. Its the hard that makes it great.

I wanted to thank you all for giving me the inspiration I needed yesterday to get off my fat ass and go to the gym. I was totally not feeling motivated to go work out but then I came on here and read the blogs and then felt like I needed to go workout because otherwise I would be letting you down. I woke up this morning and when the scale said 194 that made me feel so great. I am still below GW #1, and now i only have 9 more lbs to go to GW #2.

And I also went out on Tuesday night. I had a great time. I went out with a co-worker and her friends and I had a lot of fun. I even drank and came home and didn't get into any trouble!!! Woot woot.. If you knew my mom you would be excited too!! And it took my mind off of the boy.... I still can't believe he was such a jackass but hey whatever! I am moving onto better things!!

Cough Cough

Ugg still feel like crap. I had to take off work today to go to the doctors to get a physical for my work.... I hate being home because i feel like such a waste. I also don't have a car at the moment so today I have to go out and buy a new battery for the stupid thing. I can't wait until I can save enough to get my own. I have been trying to watch my spending... This is also a good way to watch my calories because I can use my saving money as an excuse to not go out and eat!! 

That being said, went to the doctor and got weighed. They weighed me in my jeans and sweater and I still weighed less than what I use to weigh naked soooo that got me excited!! But I am still a fat whale so I am not that excited. I am heading to the gym tonight. They started a boxing class before my usual class so I think I am going to try that tonight. I have a lot of pent up aggression and I think this is a better way to get it out than some of my other ways. 


Ok so this is why I hate being home. I was bored and decided to go on facebook... yea what a freaken great idea! Went on the boy's page and there are all these pictures with him and this girl and they are posting to each other like we use to post. I know we were never really anything but this really hurts. I don't know why but I legitimately have a pain in my chest and it feels like I have been punched in the stomach. I am on the verge of tears. I just don't understand. I have never been in a relationship and I went on my first ever "real" date with this kid. And then he just up and stops talking to me. What the hell I DON'T GET IT!!! I seriously can not be that ugly!  I try to play it off like it doesn't really bother me but it does. I don't know how much more of this I can take. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

Blahh

This is going to be a quick one because i feel like crap. Hit goal weight #1 and then some today. I havent eaten anything today because I felt so sick all day so I hope this sticks!! So i guess today was a fasting day... let's see if i can get away with it tomorrow. I guess that is the only good thing about being sick. I took some medicine so hopefully i will be falling asleep soon. I really haven't been able to sleep lately because i have been upset about the boy. He just stopped texting me. I don't know what i did but I haven't heard from here since tuesday and normally we talk everyday. I am trying to not let it get me down but it does kind of hurt my feelings....

No food... No food... No food

This weekend was horrible. I just couldn't control myself and pretty much had a 3 day binge. Good thing is I only gained 0.2 lbs so I guess that isn't too bad but I am still pretty pissed. I went to the gym for 2 hours yesterday and this morning I woke up and i had gained another 0.6lbs. What the hell. It is disgusting. 


This morning I skipped breakfast and only ate about 3 slices of apple but now I have to eat dinner with the family. I don't want to eat but I already tried to get out of it but it failed epically. Good news, my mom has noticed my weight loss so I guess I am losing but I just don't see it!! There is still a lot of work to do. 


I really should go to the gym but I am just so tired. I am going to make myself go but I might not do the treadmill, maybe I will do the eliptical for 30 minutes, do the stepper for 15 minutes, do the eliptical for 30 more minutes, and then the bike for 15 minutes. Followed by some abs and stretching. 


I am thinking about starting some diet pills too. I just am not too sure which ones to get. After the gym I am going to stop by the pharmacy and see what they have. Any suggestions??