Survived!!!

Well today was the dreaded Office Christmas Party. It was a potluck where everybody brings in something that they made. I was really worried about this because I hate eating in front of people. I always feel like people are judging me and thinking look at that fat ass is she really eating that! So I made sure not to eat anything after 7:30 last night until 12:30 this afternoon when this party started. Then I just took a little bit of some stuff so that it looked like I had a lot on my plate but I really didn't. I didn't have that much and then I had to run in the back to do some work... yea that's right I had to do work during the party... but I was happy because it was dessert time when I was busy. I thought that I could escape but noooooo when I got back they were all still eating dessert and then somehow I ended up taking 2 shots of this polish vodka. Now I  am not a big drinker, on top of the fact that I don't have a very high tolerance, and I had almost nothing in my stomach, you can see where this is going. I didn't want to be the drunk at the party so I hurried up and stuffed some dessert in my stomach so that I wouldn't look like a fool. I was so pissed at myself. I can't even tell you what I ate!!! But the girl who does the animal care job that I use to do called out sick today so me and my coworker had to cover her stuff. This job is pretty heavy duty work so I burned more calories than normal today so my mini binge wasn't so bad but I am still ticked!!

Here is an interesting thing that happened today. I walked into the tech office in my scrubs today. I had to put on what I like to call the skinny scrubs, you know like skinny jeans, because this crazy lady is hording all my new scrubs, she only works 1 day a week but for whatever reason I had 3 new pairs of scrubs and all of a sudden they are missing and she is wearing my scrubs!! But anyway, these scrubs are tighter, not as tight as they use to be, but I really dont like to wear tight stuff that shows off every roll on my body. I hate it!!! Well I was stadning in my scrubs getting something out and the crazy scrub hoarding lady goes, Are you losing weight. To which I reply... uhh no I don't think so. And she goes are you sure cause I think you are. Now this is the second person at work to mention this too me. It makes me feel good but also I just don't see it. Even though I see the scale going down, I still look at myself in the mirror and see a fat fat person who shouldn't be able to leave the house.

Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or small, has its states of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory.