:(

Ok so I suck at life. I told myself that yesterday I could eat as long as today I fasted... well guess who failed at the whole fast thing. Seriously why can't I get thin? Like is the whole world conspiring against me to make me fat? It's not even like I want to eat, but i just do. I am so angry with myself right now.

And to add to my pathetic life,  I friended girl on facebook today. We were friends last year until I fucked up and opened my mouth and said something I shouldn't have to a supposed friend and of course you can see where things went from here. But see the thing is I still am upset about losing her as a friend. It hurt so bad and it hasn't been a year yet but it is coming up on a year. I am waiting to see if she accepts. I feel like such a loser now that I did this, but it just felt like something I should have done. Plus she is major thinspiration for me. She is gorgeous, super thin, and has a killer body. I look at her and wish that I look just like her. To be honest I can see why she wanted to drop me as a friend. Who wants to have a fat ass loser friend when they are as gorgeous as that?

Tomorrow I am not going to fast, I think my problem is that I am going from one extreme to the next. I am only going to limit myself to dinner tomorrow and just a small amount of it. Plus I am going to hit the gym after I get done at work. I am just going to take it one day at a time.